Are You a Man or Are You a Mess?
(Caring for Yourself or the Male in Your Life)

I.    Physical Health
A. The “MANual”
B. Why don’t men see the doctor?
     1. Societal views toward men
         a. He is fearless
         b. He is expendable
         c. He is independent and doesn’t need help
     2. Men’s personal fears and concerns
         a. Phobic about medical procedures
         b. Difficulty dealing with blood
         c. Fatalism
     3. Common male points of view
         a. I’ll be OK—I don’t need help
         b. If I just wait, it’ll go away
         c. Doctors don’t know what they’re talking about and are expensive
 C. Three biggest concerns for men as they age
      1. Heart disease
          a. Risk factors
               i. Male gender= increased risk factor
               ii. Family history
               iii. Untreated diabetes
               iv. Cigarette smoking
               v. Hypertension
               vi. Obesity
               vii. Inactivity
           b. How does heart disease occur?
           c. Limitations for heart disease patients
                i. Physical activity
                ii. Big meals
                iii. Sexual activity
                iv. Travel in cold climates
            d. Prevention
                i. Cardiovascular exercise
                ii. Eat properly
       2. Obesity
            a. Doubles chance of early death
            b. Major cardiovascular risk
            c. Social and psychological problems
            d. Physical problems with joints and spine
            e. Quality of life issues
            f. Often related to diabetes
       3. Cancer
            a. Most common types
                 i. Lung
                 ii. Colon
                 iii. Prostate
            b. The good news and the bad news
  D. Risk assessment Questions
         1. Family history
         2. Blood pressure
         3. Blood chemistry
         4. Body Mass Index (BMI)
   E. See your doctor—best prevention possible!
II.    Food and Nutrition  (Gotta have it!)
   A. HOW you eat
        1. Physical position and style
        2. What else are you doing?
        3. Awareness
        4. Using your senses?
        5. Plan of Action (Great place to make changes)
   B. WHY do you eat?
        1. Emotional Eating
        2. Just Because
        3. Plan of Action
   C. WHEN do you eat?
        1. How often? What times?
        2. Just Because
        3. Plan of Action
   D. WHERE do you eat?
        1. While in motion?
        2. Plan of Action
   E. WHO do you eat?
        1. Happy Cows and chickens
        2. Drinks and pills
        3. Plan of Action         
   F. WHAT do you eat?
        1. Portions
        2. Variety
        3. Suggestions/Plan of action

III.    Financial Health
   A. The role of debt in our lives
        1. Undue pressure to produce
        2. Stretches career beyond reasonable time frame
        3. Creates fear when "the times" slow down
   B. Catching up to the power curve
        1. Spending is addictive
        2. Are you just trying to keep up with the Joneses?
   C. How do you feel about retirement and college funds for your children?
        1. How time works for you
        2. How time works against you

IV.    Handling Stress (Gotta have it!)
   A. Stress free versus DEALING with stress
   B. Dealing with the unexpected and/or "not enough time to do it right"
   C. Man's view of stress—What is it? What do I do?
   D. Strategies for dealing with stress
        1. Simplify – Office Manager; Lawn help
        2. Get organized – Conditions of employment, clean desk, quicken
        3. Take breaks – between patients, 20 minutes at home
        4. Exercise regularly -
        5. Deal with conflict, don't avoid it – get skills
        6. Get enough sleep - really
        7. Be positive
        8. Stay connected – family, friends, coaching, scouts, activities
        9. Ten minutes a day
        10. Have safe sex
   E. Make a plan ahead of time-- don't wait for stress!
        1. Take a CD in your car
        2. Fill your tank first
   F.  Dietary ideas
        1. Reduce caffeine and sugar intake
        2. Take along healthy foods
        3. Evaluate your dietary supplements
        4. Eat breakfast
        5. Drink water
   G.  Breathing

V.    Spiritual Health
   A. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude
   B. Count your blessings
   C. Everything shows up for a reason
   D. Make time for personal growth and reflection
   E. Connect to your primary relationships
        1. Family
        2. Extended family
        3. Community
        4. World
   F. Life has meaning and the future looks bright
   G. Being present

VI.    Future Planning
   A. Is this about Retirement Planning?
        1. Meaninglessness
        2. Connectedness and fulfillment (through work?)
        3. Nothing to take up the void
        4. Health issues
        5. Mental illness usually precedes physical illness
   B. Instead of Retirement, just look at your FUTURE
        1. Begins in the next second
        2. What do you want?
             a. Health
             b. Sexual function
             c. Relationships
             d. Meaningful activities
        3. Why would these start later if you don't have them now?
        4. Look at all the potentials
             a. What is missing now and needs expression?
             b. Seek out your passion
             c. Consider part-time work, or a new field
        5. Instead of competing, plan to connect
             a. Expand your male friendship circle
             b. Work on your primary relationship
        6. Instead of reacting, become resilient
             a. Stop blaming
             b. Seek new solutions to old frustrations
        7. Instead of power, wield influence
        8. Instead of working for pay, volunteer
        9. Instead of living to eat, eat to live
  C. Keys to a Meaningful Future
        1. Happiness is wanting what you already have
        2. Fulfillment is optimizing the use of your abilities
        3. Satisfaction is improving the quality of efforts and relationships
        4. Security is having the freedom to pursue your goals


Suggested Reading List

Anthony, Mitch, The New Retirementality, Dearborn Financial Publishing, 2001

Chopra, Deepak, M.D., Ageless Body, Timeless Mind, Harmony Books, 1993
                                      Grow Younger, Live Longer, Harmony Books, 2001

Gullo, Stephen P., Ph.D., Thin Tastes Better, Dell Books, 1995

Ivkar, Robert S., O.D., Sinus Survival, Tarcher/Putnam, 1988

Ray, James A., The Science of Success, SunArk Press, 2003

Sheehy, Gail, Understanding Men’s Passages,  Random House, 1998

Wyle, Andrew, 8 Weeks to Optimum Health. Alfred Knopf, 1997

Important Websites

     American Heart Association (
     National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute (

     American Cancer Society (
     National Cancer Institute (
     American Foundation for Urologic Disease (
     Testicular Cancer Resource Center (

     American Diabetes Association (
     National Diabetes Eduation Program (

Regular Checkups/Tests

Blood Pressure, Height, Weight      Periodically, 28 years and older
Cholesterol                                     Every 5 years, 35 years and older
Colorectal Cancer                          Periodically, 50 years and older
Prostate Cancer                             Every year, 50 years and older

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